Hashing Guide: How to set
and DO a Hash

We have a few little rules that help the Hash go smoothly. The aim of every hash is to find the right trail together as a group, not to be first, fast, or a winner. The hares (the half-brains that prepare the Hash) set a trail for runners and walkers that might be the same in some parts, then split, and both groups need to find their own trails.

When You’re On, You’re On.

Every Barbados Hash begins the same way. People try to find the first ON. The rest watch this spectacle and pretend it makes sense. It looks chaotic, but it is the first stage of trail finding.

Trail marks can be marked with dots of flour or paper. Both are official. Both count. If a Hasher finds three marks in a row on any path, road, gully, field, or jungle, that direction is correct. In Hash language, the trail is ON. As long as more marks appear along that same route, you stay ON.

The Hares do not let you enjoy that success for long. Their job is to keep the pack together. They do it by hiding turns, twisting the route, dropping checks and bars, or unleashing whatever tricks they have planned for the day. The goal is simple. Make sure nobody gets too comfortable, and nobody gets too far ahead.

An Arsenal Of Weapons

The Check

A Check is a circle of flour with a dot in the middle. Its job is simple. It stops the Front Running Bastards (FRBs) and gives the rest of the pack time to catch up. It also forces the FRBs to think for once, which is always entertaining.

When you reach a Check, the trail ends. No more dots. No clues. Nothing. Everyone mills around until the FRBs blast off in random directions. This is called CHECKING. You shout ‘CHECKING’ until you find the right trail. 

When you wander off from a Check, you might find nothing. You might find a single dot. You might find two dots. You might find a cow. You might find an X that tells you you have just wasted your effort. When you check, you yell: “Checking One” if you find one dot. “Checking Two” if you find two consecutive dots.

Only one direction will ever give you three consecutive dots or more. That direction is the right trail. It is ON. If you find the ON trail, yell it. ON ON and continue.

The Back Check

The Back Check is one of the Hares' favorite ways to remind the pack that forward is not always the answer. It looks just like a normal Check. The difference is that the real trail is behind you, not in front.

You will know you have hit a Back Check when every forward option gives you nothing. No three dots. No sign of life. No hope. When that happens, the rule is simple. Turn around.

Follow the same trail you came in on and count back one or two dots. If you went back two dots, one new dot is enough to call ON. If you only went back one dot, you must find two new ones before you can call it.

X  — Do Not Cross

A False Trail is marked with a small or big X. When you see an X, stop. Do not cross it. Do not test it. Do not think you are smarter than the Hare and the X. Turn around and go back the way you came. That is the entire rule.

Plenty of trails have collapsed because the Hares forgot their Xs. Suddenly, everyone is back at the bar after two kilometers and twenty minutes. People act confused. They clutch beers and claim the trail was too short. It was not short. Some half-brain cut across the out trail and the in trail because the Hare forgot to block it with an X.

Hares also use Xs for punishment. They drop an innocent-looking X to send the pack back. Way back. If you run past an X, you will discover how far back you can go before you start questioning your life choices.

The Bar – Go back a number of dots.

No drink at this Bar. A bar is a straight line with a number below. When you hit it, stop pretending you know where you are going. Turn around and go back the number of dots written below the line. If it says 8, you go back 8. Not 6. Not whatever your foggy brain thinks is close enough. Eight. There, you will somehow find the trail again.

The Bar exists for one reason. To drag the Front Running Bastards back to the rest of the pack and remind them they are not in the Olympics. It keeps the trail together and keeps FRBs humble, confused, and occasionally crying (how about a Bar 40…).

The Road to Nowhere

The Road to Nowhere is a Hare’s classic ambush. You reach a wide, clear path through the bush. It looks fast. It looks simple. It looks perfect for FRBs who treat every Hash like a half-marathon competition. They take off instantly. No hesitation.

Everyone else follows because it feels easy and obvious. Nobody asks the only question that matters: are we ON? Half a mile later, the truth appears. You were never ON. We were just chasing FRBs who were too busy racing each other to notice the trail had ended. There were no dots for the last 10 min.

The real route was the small, hidden turn into the bush and up the hill. The Hares place it exactly where FRBs never look.

When someone finally shouts Are you? and “Last dot,” the whole group stops. The FRBs are stranded at the dead end. The walkers catch up. They first turn into the bush and head up the hill.

The Hash Flash (a Circle with HC in the Middle)

Every now and then, the pack is ordered to stop for a Hash Flash - a circle with HC in the middle. This means roughly fifteen people pile together for a quick photo. The real purpose is not the photo. It is to slow down the Front Running Bastards and give the rest of the pack a chance to catch up. It resets the field, restores some order, and reminds everyone that this is a Hash, not a race. Stand still, squeeze in, smile if you must, and then get ready to move again.

The Calls Of The Wild

The Hash relies on calling. We have the Hash Horn, whose job is to stay in the middle of the pack and act as a beacon, but the whole thing falls apart if we don’t call. Everyone should participate in the calling, from the front runner to the last of the bunch.

“ARE YOU?”

This is the only call that is a question. And, because we’re a somewhat simple-minded group, it’s the only question that we ever ask. All other calls are a response to the question, “ARE YOU?”

“ON-ON!”

Music to a Hasher’s ear. This is the correct response if you are on the right trail. In addition, when already on the right trail, Hashers should call “On-On!” each and every time they come across an additional dot of flour. It’s important that all hashers call the ON – it’s our primitive communication system that alerts everyone down the line the proper way to go.

“CHECKING!”

When you approach a check, or if you are checking and have not found any dots, you should call this loud and clear.

“CHECKING ONE!”

Call this when you are checking, and you find one dot, or if you’re checking and someone else calls to you, “ARE YOU?” and you’ve found one dot.

“CHECKING TWO!”

Call this when you are checking and you’ve found two dots or if you’re checking and someone else calls to you “ARE YOU?” and you’ve found two dots.

“LOOKING!”

If you’re looking for flour, but are not at a check, then the proper response is “LOOKING!”

“ON-IN!”

Call this when you see the ON-IN written on the ground.

“YES, R.A!”

This is the proper response to anything our beloved R.A. might ask of you. Penalties for creative answers might range from an ice-cold shirt to a free drink.